Health Care Realities In America

THE CENTURION CHRONICLE
Special Issue – July 2009

HEALTH CARE REALITIES IN AMERICA
(that’s the way of it)

A President decides to get a first-hand view of the health care system here in America, to see what needs to be fixed or reformed, so that everyone can be taken care of. So, he goes on a national tour to check things out for himself.

At one major medical center he’s given a complete tour of the facility, from top to bottom. As he and its director are heading back towards the main entrance (trailed by his Secret Service goon squad, and a horde of media types), they pass by a large double door along the corridor posted with the following sign:

SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION WARD.
RESTRICTED ENTRY.
AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.

Intrigued by that, he stops, and insists on taking a look inside. The director is unhappy with that idea, but, since it is the President, he can only grudgingly comply.

After they enter the first section of the ward, the President sees only a bunch of guys sitting on stools, and masturbating. Surprised at this, he asks the director what’s going on. The director responds, explaining these are all folks without medical insurance, so that’s the best they can do for them.

The next section of the ward, has curtained cubicles, with a little more “privacy”. Here, the President sees a bunch of guys being given oral sex by nurse’s aides. Again, the President asks – what’s going on with this group?- The director explains…these are all folks covered by HMO’s.

Finally, way at the back of the ward, are a number of private well-appointed rooms.
Opening one of the doors, the President sees a naked “patient” having sex with a naked and very good looking nurse. Quietly shutting the door so as not to interrupt that “therapy” session, the President again asks what’s going on in this part of the ward. The director explains that these individuals have full private medical insurance.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
The quality and level of medical care you get in America is this:

a) If you have no medical insurance…....you’re on your own!

b) If you are covered by HMO……......…...you get a blow job!

c) If you have private insurance……….....you get the full Monte!

CENTURION